Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Indian Marriages, the midnight nightmares
Indian Marriage- these two words are enough for any Indian family to get energized to “halal ” the next “ bakra ” standing in the line of execution. Quite similar to the death penalty it self, the occasion brings in various varieties of feast and their respective bees (invitees) to the beehive. Old ones like prospective Saas (Mother-in-Law) and Sasur (Father-in-Law) from the groom’s side are always over excited for the newest member of their family and remaining clans are excited over the specific material gains. And as far the Chacha’s and Mama’s are concerned from the both sides, they always get prepared with their “Donali- The two barrel guns” to shoot some imaginary asses over the dark black sky.
The process of execution starts with glossy & designer invitation cards with the words printed with bold letters consisting the name of Inmate and her prospective Lugai (the wife) and above all judges (parents) names who wrote the order of execution also gets special highlights. The name of pundit in the extreme left corner down the bottom of the card seems to be a great introduction of a “Jallad the executioner” of its own kind. Whateverrr, the first hammer gone on the table.
The next process starts with “Shagun Inter-Exchange Program”. Now that’s what you call a NASDAQ Trading Floor. Sarees, Blouse (of various sizes), Peticoats (of various dimensions), Sweets (of various tastes), Dry Fruits etc are the modes of trading. After this so called exchanges, respective teams discuss their gains and losses at their respective dressing rooms and figure out some more brilliant strategies for their next encounter. Hurray for Team India!!
Here comes the D-Day, the “Dulha the Groom” take martyr’s seat over a “Ghodi ” leading a big regiment of baratis with a band-baja. The bunch of young bloods jumping likes Daler Mehndis over the song by an unrecognized singer with an unrecognized voice. Some of the excited electrons of the outer orbit loose their valence bond and ignites the firecrackers to crack some real ass out of the passer byes. Unfortunately, if you are the one, Please from next time carry an earplug, a swimming goggle and an Oxygen tank to avoid such kind of undesired scuba dive.
On the gate of Dulhan’s (Bride’s) House, another regiment of holy “kasais the butchers” is standing with the necessary items to receive the Dulha. Inside the Dulha’s Mind, he was expecting more in terms of an item number by Mallika Sherawat, any way his day’s are going to over within a few hours. The grazing eyes of the groom are saying a last goodbye to every single pretty face at the venue with giving promises to meet all of them in his next incarnation. And my condolence goes with him with an assurance, Main Hoo Naa!!!
By the time he enters the Mandap the Butcher Hall, his eyes clashes with the Jallad singing the hymns of the rituals, whose every word is symbolizing the slow death of his bachelorhood. The old scratchy tape recorder blaring the music of Bismillah Khan’s Shenai resonating like supernatural background score.Then comes the bride loaded with jewllery like a woman commando of special forces, ready to kill through her beautiful eyes in the sense of "akhiyon se goli maare.. dhiciyaaaan".With the help of step by step processes, including Kanyadaan, Mangalsutra, Garlands and Saat Phere marriage gets over. The anamoly of such institution can be discovered in the later stages of the life. But the night goes on with a start of the new relations and Chachas-Mamas mili bhagat- The Donali Syndrome Prevails allover.
The process of execution starts with glossy & designer invitation cards with the words printed with bold letters consisting the name of Inmate and her prospective Lugai (the wife) and above all judges (parents) names who wrote the order of execution also gets special highlights. The name of pundit in the extreme left corner down the bottom of the card seems to be a great introduction of a “Jallad the executioner” of its own kind. Whateverrr, the first hammer gone on the table.
The next process starts with “Shagun Inter-Exchange Program”. Now that’s what you call a NASDAQ Trading Floor. Sarees, Blouse (of various sizes), Peticoats (of various dimensions), Sweets (of various tastes), Dry Fruits etc are the modes of trading. After this so called exchanges, respective teams discuss their gains and losses at their respective dressing rooms and figure out some more brilliant strategies for their next encounter. Hurray for Team India!!
Here comes the D-Day, the “Dulha the Groom” take martyr’s seat over a “Ghodi ” leading a big regiment of baratis with a band-baja. The bunch of young bloods jumping likes Daler Mehndis over the song by an unrecognized singer with an unrecognized voice. Some of the excited electrons of the outer orbit loose their valence bond and ignites the firecrackers to crack some real ass out of the passer byes. Unfortunately, if you are the one, Please from next time carry an earplug, a swimming goggle and an Oxygen tank to avoid such kind of undesired scuba dive.
On the gate of Dulhan’s (Bride’s) House, another regiment of holy “kasais the butchers” is standing with the necessary items to receive the Dulha. Inside the Dulha’s Mind, he was expecting more in terms of an item number by Mallika Sherawat, any way his day’s are going to over within a few hours. The grazing eyes of the groom are saying a last goodbye to every single pretty face at the venue with giving promises to meet all of them in his next incarnation. And my condolence goes with him with an assurance, Main Hoo Naa!!!
By the time he enters the Mandap the Butcher Hall, his eyes clashes with the Jallad singing the hymns of the rituals, whose every word is symbolizing the slow death of his bachelorhood. The old scratchy tape recorder blaring the music of Bismillah Khan’s Shenai resonating like supernatural background score.Then comes the bride loaded with jewllery like a woman commando of special forces, ready to kill through her beautiful eyes in the sense of "akhiyon se goli maare.. dhiciyaaaan".With the help of step by step processes, including Kanyadaan, Mangalsutra, Garlands and Saat Phere marriage gets over. The anamoly of such institution can be discovered in the later stages of the life. But the night goes on with a start of the new relations and Chachas-Mamas mili bhagat- The Donali Syndrome Prevails allover.
India, the land of profanity
“Oye Bhain Di, Hindi bolti hai?”- The opening lines spoken by Aamir Khan in Rang De Basanti has given enough explanation how the cult of profanity has gone deep-rooted into our society. Any way, few months ago, when I paid a self-surprise visit to my old school, I found many small toddlers speaking well-versed “gaalis” fluently, better we should forget about their Hindi lessons. As time has passed, the acceptability of such vocabulary has given upper hand to the people to express their feelings in a different way. Many of them believe it’s a best way to express one’s feeling in a better way. Those days had gone when people usually used such words with a grudge. They are now more polite with a punch like “ Bhain ke lode, kal phone kyun nahin kiya??”
The melancholies of such words are different through various points of views. As a musician composes a beautiful masterpiece by using various notes, the same way common junta composes their own kind of profanity based words. Elite people prefer to use English, just to prove how well they are using their high education for a perfect disposal.
Just take an example of an engineering college, a student comes out of a room after a gruesome journal submission cum viva, he shoots – “ Maa ke Lode ne aaj meri gaand maar di!” His friend on his support says- “ Gaand aur Doodh jab phat-ta hai, tab awaaaz nahin aati. Hahahaha”. Just see the flow of ideas and information! I simply can’t believe it; the system of natural human communication has evolved into such lower degree of expressions.
Don’t mind!! Even girls are also playing a pivotal role. If you don’t believe my words, just do drop by nearest hang out zone of cities like Bangalore, Pune or Delhi you will find the word “Fuck” with a feminine touch on a Play & Rewind list. So, if you ever considering to hear “Madder Chod” from a Behari, the 21st century girl in reply will shoot “You!! MOTHER FUCKER” – The instant Hindi-To-English Dictionary!!!
Relatively speaking, I don’t have any complains from this ongoing traditional change. But what so ever, the equation of being polite and to keep one’s mouth afresh gives substantial maters of doubts. Any type of mouth fresheners like Pass-Pass or Minto fresh cant do enough justice on this issue neither I do expect much from any upcoming FMCG companies. It’s all up to the personal choice what to speak and what not to speak, why to speak and why not to speak, how to speak and how not to speak, when to speak and when not to speak.
The melancholies of such words are different through various points of views. As a musician composes a beautiful masterpiece by using various notes, the same way common junta composes their own kind of profanity based words. Elite people prefer to use English, just to prove how well they are using their high education for a perfect disposal.
Just take an example of an engineering college, a student comes out of a room after a gruesome journal submission cum viva, he shoots – “ Maa ke Lode ne aaj meri gaand maar di!” His friend on his support says- “ Gaand aur Doodh jab phat-ta hai, tab awaaaz nahin aati. Hahahaha”. Just see the flow of ideas and information! I simply can’t believe it; the system of natural human communication has evolved into such lower degree of expressions.
Don’t mind!! Even girls are also playing a pivotal role. If you don’t believe my words, just do drop by nearest hang out zone of cities like Bangalore, Pune or Delhi you will find the word “Fuck” with a feminine touch on a Play & Rewind list. So, if you ever considering to hear “Madder Chod” from a Behari, the 21st century girl in reply will shoot “You!! MOTHER FUCKER” – The instant Hindi-To-English Dictionary!!!
Relatively speaking, I don’t have any complains from this ongoing traditional change. But what so ever, the equation of being polite and to keep one’s mouth afresh gives substantial maters of doubts. Any type of mouth fresheners like Pass-Pass or Minto fresh cant do enough justice on this issue neither I do expect much from any upcoming FMCG companies. It’s all up to the personal choice what to speak and what not to speak, why to speak and why not to speak, how to speak and how not to speak, when to speak and when not to speak.
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